I am lovely?

I am going to follow the Fly Lady's advice this morning and start where I am at and not worry about trying to catch up. :-)

So, here we go, both feet ready and JUMP!

I came across something while I was having my quiet time this morning that impacted my heart so intensely that it brought me to tears. It is really not all that uncommon for me to cry over something I read, I have a very tender heart, but I immediately wanted to share it with someone, ANYONE because surely to Pete I am not the only one who would be so strongly impacted by this statement.

You know how you can read something a million times and think you understand what it's saying and then one day you read it again and it kind of feels like you've been reading in the dark and someone turns the light switch on for you and all of a sudden your entire body goes , "Oh! Wow, how did I not see that before?"? Oprah refers to this as an "Ah Ha!" moment. I like these because they tend to be very focus altering for me, in a good way, like finally taking the time to clean your glasses, or windows. It can make a BIG difference. Well, that is exactly what happened to me this morning.

I have been reading Beth Moore's book "So Long Insecurity" . It is a wonderful study and I highly recommend it to anyone who has ever had their a** kicked by their own insecurities, which I am pretty sure would be the population of the entire planet at one time or another. Here is what I read:

How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty!

This is a verse from the bible that comes from Psalm 84:1 and yes I have probably read or heard this verse at least a million times over the course of my 31 years. I have always imagined this verse to be descriptive of a church, or a temple or heaven. Most certainly anywhere God would choose to be would be lovely indeed, I mean...he's God! We wouldn't expect the president of the United States to live in a Motel 6, so of course God, the creator of the earth and skies, wouldn't live anywhere that wasn't infinitely more exquisite than the white house, right? BUT what if I view this verse in the understanding of God living or dwelling in me??? *crickets chirping* Then.....that would mean....I....am lovely? How lovely I am, O Lord Almighty! I am lovely!?! *cue steady stream of tears*

According to 1st Corinthians 3:16 that is an entirely accurate way to read that scripture (if you believe that the bible confirms itself, which I do).

You realize, don't you, that YOU are the temple of God, and God himself is present in YOU? (The Message paraphrase bible, emphasis mine)

I have always believed that God lives in me and loves me and finds worth in me even when I can't seem to find it in myself, but I had never read THIS verse (Psalm 84:1) through the lens of THAT (1st Corinthians 3:16) understanding before and as soon as I did, the light switch was flipped on in my heart and I don't think I will ever be the same again. What a powerful weapon against the negative tapes that seem to play in my head, against my will and out of the blue.

I wish my hair was like "hers" - No, I am lovely!
My thighs are to big - No, I am lovely!
My chest is to small - No, I am lovely!
I have to be THE best in order to matter - No, I am lovely!
I have no original thoughts, so why bother trying to write anything - No, I am lovely!
I will probably fail so why even try - No, I am lovely!
I am forgettable, no one will remember me - No, I am lovely!
I am not enough of what I think people want me to be - No, I am lovely!

I am to much of what I think people don't want me to be - No, I am lovely!

I am lovely!

Wow, that is some powerful stuff.

I have not bore my soul through the details of this post in hopes of receiving affirming words of my worth from anyone (although words of encouragement ARE my primary love language and speak VERY strongly to my heart). My purpose in sharing was out of the hope and desire to pass along this new lens for self-viewing to someone else, anyone else, who might need it as desperately as I did/do. I guess I should also add that I don't take this mew mantra as license for pride or resistance against bettering the things in me that truly need to be changed for the better, but when a heart and soul are wounded and dying a slow miserable death, the realization and regular repetition of the fact that "I AM LOVELY!" is a cool sip of water to my parched psyche, a soothing ointment to my crippled self-worth and a warm & gentle embrace to my frightened inner child. I am lovely...and you are too.

Hugs & Hope,
Stephanie