The Best Gift That Almost Wasn't

I grew up in a very musical family, but the only instrument I've ever played is my voice. So when Bre wanted to learn to play the piano and our budget didn't allow for piano lessons I decided that I would have to do it myself, even if that meant learning right along with her, and I am pleased to say that it has been fabulous. I got her a book and we started at the beginning. She picked it up rather quickly and it had been an absolute joy to see her fall in love with making music. We were able to have some family over the other night and she gave her first recital of all the Christmas carols she had learned. I was as proud as a peacock.

 

Well, the last time the kids and I went to TN they had a blast making music on Mimmi and Meemaws pianos, guitar, banjo and bass fiddle. Mimmi told Bre that I needed to buy her a ukulele SO, ever since then she has talked about little else. A ukulele was the top item on her Christmas list and to be honest I DID NOT want to buy her one. My reasoning was purely selfish in nature; I was already teaching her to play the piano, something I already don't feel entirely equipped to do, and I didn't want to be responsible for learning another instrument so that I could turn around and teach her how to play it. DID. NOT. WANT. TO. I had decided she would not be getting ukulele. She would just have to deal with it, and be satisfied with playing the piano. Until Christmas was 3 days away, and all of a sudden my selfishness began to give way to the realization that she would be utterly crushed if she didn't get the one thing she asked for AND, I thought, what better gift could I give my children than the gift of music, especially if that's what they really want??? So, Matt and I headed into Rochester that evening and bought her a purple, diamond head, ukulele. As I clutched the plum hued instrument on the way home, my reservations quickly gave way to excitement of the big day approaching, and the impending reaction of complete and total joy sure to be on her face. I was not mistaken.

(She looses track of the melody line when she sings and plays at the same time, but she hits the chords right on.)

I'm so very glad I didn't let my stubbornness stop me from fulfilling my little musicians wish list, and I must admit that I've fallen in love myself with this tiny little instrument and have been taking great delight in how quickly I've been able to make music with it. I find it interesting how providing opportunities for my children to further themselves in music has spurred me in my own pursuit of the art, and I don't intend to put an end to my journey or theirs from here on out. We're already talking about getting Wes a drum set for his birthday in a couple months (maybe an electronic set with volume control lol). My ultimate goal for myself has become playing my non vocal instruments with the praise and worship bands at church some day. So, as a step in that direction I thought it would be fun to learn a song on the uke especially for this extra special day of the year.

4 Things My Dog Taught Me About Parenting

Our German Shorthair Pointer rescue of 3 years, Hooch

AKC

The German Shorthaired Pointer thrives as part of an active family.

Wikipedia

GSPs have a lot of energy and if not given the right amount of attention, can become bored and destructive.

Dog Breed Info Center

Happy-go-lucky, it loves nothing more than to engage in some type of constructive activity with its owners.

 The GSP will not listen if it senses that it is stronger minded than its owner, however it will also not respond well to harsh discipline.

Exercise is of paramount importance for these tireless, energetic animals. They are more than a match for even the most active family

Yep that pretty much sums up our Hooch boy, the energizer bunny in 4 legged form with a bottomless love and play tank, who considers himself a perfectly acceptable size for a lap dog.

About 6 months ago I decided to join a Facebook group dedicated to German Shorthair pointers in an effort to hopefully learn how to better control this unstoppable, 40lbs of bored fur that has been masticating through objects carelessly left on the floor quicker than The Flash with fleas since the day we brought him home. The group taught me SO much about the breed as well as the humans that are owned by them and, it was remarkable what a little bit of knowledge and a touch of understanding did to the condition of my heart toward our unstoppable pooch.

In a moment of canine reflection a couple months ago I was attempting to summarize Hooch's characteristics into a lump phrase and this is what I came up with (I'm getting to the parenting bit in a moment I promise, so hang with me);

...through the roof constant energy, needs a lot of stimulation and exercise, a love and play tank that's NEVER full, hates being alone, want's to constantly touch you but can't sit still, can't handle not being the center of attention........

And something began to slowly dawn in the corners of my brain.  

That sounds very familiar. Who does that remind me of? Bre has constant energy. Bre needs lots of stimulation and exercise. Her love and play tank are NEVER EVER full. She's always despised being alone. She loves to be all over you yet can't sit still while she does it. The center of attention is her gravitational axis.... Oh my goodness! My daughter and our dog are exactly the same!!!!

And that led me to another thought,

Could parenting the GSP personality be the same whether it appears on 2 legs or 4?

I have come to find that in many instances the answer is most definitely yes.

#1 - Through the roof constant energy needs a steady stream of varied mental and physical stimulation. 90% of the time, if my dog or my daughter are getting into some kind of trouble it's because they're bored and need something constructive to do; games, toys, physical exertion, etc. This requires me as the parent to either be proactive in making sure there are things to do OR being willing to stop what I'm doing at that moment and provide the stimulation they need for as long as they need it.

#2 - Bottomless love tanks can only be filled with one thing, time. I have to be intentional about giving physical love to them and not waiting till they come to me already running on empty. I have to give head kisses as I walk around the table to put my dishes away. I have to offer back scratches as we pass in the hallway. I have to provide soft words of affection as we cross paths in the stairwell. Unmet love needs = unwanted negative behavior.

#3 - GSP personalities are NOT kennel or latch and key beings. While 24/7 companionship and interaction is not humanly possible, extended solitude can feel worse than death for this temperament. As a parent I can only do and be so much so, play dates with others and something to occupy their mind during small chunks of alone time are an absolute must.

#4 - GSP natures are not meant to be motionless. They're just not. So, I've learned to decline much of anything requiring extended periods of stillness (which is much shorter for GSP's than the rest of the civilized world lol). If I don't try and force them to be someone they're not, every one's lives are much easier.

So now, instead of getting frustrated with these powerful GSP traits demanding to be addressed on a millisecond basis, day in and day out, by keeping these 4 Hooch hound lessons in mind I'm better motivated to parent all my babies, fur or otherwise, much more effectively.

Goobye Neher Confection

Letting go is really hard, especially when it makes you feel like a fool and a failure. 

Letting go is hard even though your heart of hearts knows it's right. 

Letting go is hard because you can get comfortable with one unknown and be scared of the unknown that's now ahead of you.

Letting go is hard because it can feel strangely sorrowful and relieving at the same time.

I knew this day was coming when we made the choice back in may to homeschool. I knew it was coming but that doesn't make it any easier. You know how when someone is going to jump out from behind something to scare you, and you know they're there, and it still scares the crap out of you anyway. BOO! Yeah, kinda like that.

The final decision was kind of made for me, by the big B word...our budget.

Matt recently started taking the bus to and from work so that we could take the money saved on gas and put it towards our nest egg that has been sorely neglected up to this point in our lives. So, I sat down last night to update out budget accordingly and figure out how much we would need to schedule for automatic withdraw (because the less to remember the better). Come to find out Matt's take home has been reduced due to insurance hikes and our surplus of almost $200 is now actually only $15 and change. OUCH! Now let me just say that I'm dearly grateful we still find ourselves in the black but that buck five ain't going to help us furnish our golden years. So we either bring in more money or scale back...again. Within the past year we've realized the immense value of our time against a dollar and have no desire to trade the former for the latter any more than we have to. So, it was back to the chopping block for the budget and the only thing left that could be trimmed was the monthly fees of maintaining my licensing and website. Matt very loving looked at me and gently said, "I guess you'll just have to decide if it's worth it." And even before the last word left his kissable lips I already knew the answer was a resounding no. The fees to keep Neher Confection "open" when I'm not even pursuing it, now or in the foreseeable future, it is NOT worth the money we'll need to live on in our old age.

So, this evening I began the process of canceling accounts, closing pages and terminating websites. I'm sad. My heart hurts. I'm embarrassed. I've cried a little bit, and I can't seem to stop sighing. Nothing on pandora seems to fit my mood, and I ate a bowl of maple sugar frosted shredded wheat to console myself.

People have said "It's ok. You'll pick it back up later." but I don't know that I will. I've learned some things about myself. I'm an idea generator, not a great implementer. I do good in short bursts, not long hauls. I love the creative process and I hate the tedium of production. I work well on my own and I don't like being in charge of other people.

So the plan is - there is no plan. I'm going to move all my stuff out of the cafe and put it in my basement where it's out of the way and I don't have to think about it for a while. I've toyed with the idea of doing a cupcake cookbook, but that's neither here nor there right now.

I follow a Christian entrepreneur named Sandi Krakowski on Facebook and she said something in a post one day that really struck a chord with me. It was something along the lines of

Improve what you already have, get better at doing the things you do best, take what works to a deeper level, go deep, not wide.

Deeper not wider. Deeper into my kids and my husband. Deeper into creating a home space we adore and works as hard as it can for the way we function in it. Deeper into the things that enrich my life the absolute most and make me a better person: music, reading, writing, friends, family and my pets (not necessarily in that order).

Go deep, not wide.

So while this is goodbye and thank you from Neher Confection it is most certainly not goodbye from me. I've got a whole lot of depth to explore and there's no telling what I might turn up along the way.